dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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