I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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