cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
