all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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