Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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