ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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