do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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