Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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