I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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