TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Drunk is not a location!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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