Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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