Christians are straight up FREAKS
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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