I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize