You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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