no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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