You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
