Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
