Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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