I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
