Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
