Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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