We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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