dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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