I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
