is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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