He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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