considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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