At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My Sexting was not on an AP level
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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