why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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