thus making me awesome and them whores
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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