Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I got inside last night via doggy door
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
