May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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