in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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