Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize