You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
