yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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