Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
