Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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