Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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