god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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