Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
