we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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