That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
