What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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