About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
