1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
