Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
