I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
