The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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