Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
