Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
