He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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