but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
