Your tits are I can't wait for
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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