We're like a lot better than the average bears
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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