Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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