We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
