I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
