I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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