FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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