I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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