Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
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do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
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walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.