Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(484): I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem http://tfl.nu/p4jh

Replies (19) Good night (4673) Bad night (644) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(330): View more from Ohio

She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(330): She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating.. http://tfl.nu/qbj3

Replies (45) Good night (1306) Bad night (5331) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(720): View more from Colorado

Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(720): Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls. http://tfl.nu/micp

Replies (29) Good night (3642) Bad night (915)
Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over http://tfl.nu/0v4z

Replies (14) Good night (4683) Bad night (1120) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(435): View more from Utah

i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(435): i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down. http://tfl.nu/j1eb

Replies (16) Good night (1129) Bad night (3212) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(845): View more from New York

well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(845): well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back http://tfl.nu/xxu5

Replies (33) Good night (4118) Bad night (1259) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water. http://tfl.nu/39g2

Replies (11) Good night (589) Bad night (1684) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(802): View more from Vermont

He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(802): He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass. http://tfl.nu/9wu9

Replies (23) Good night (2392) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I? http://tfl.nu/ch97

Replies (6) Good night (1478) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(724): Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me (1-724): He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit. http://tfl.nu/ml5w

Replies (5) Good night (1292) Bad night (311)
Favorite
(818): View more from California

My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(818): My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place. http://tfl.nu/mphg

Replies (10) Good night (1109) Bad night (266) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE. http://tfl.nu/ysj2

Replies (13) Good night (1278) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture

(410): View more from Maryland

dude you're not even a fucking science major

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(717): Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture (410): dude you're not even a fucking science major http://tfl.nu/vino

Replies (4) Good night (976) Bad night (201)
Favorite
(316): View more from Kansas

She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(316): She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone. http://tfl.nu/tcs7

Replies (13) Good night (559) Bad night (1717) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(978): View more from Massachusetts

You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(978): You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut. http://tfl.nu/pq6k

Replies (3) Good night (469) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: