I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
