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• (903): View more from Texas

  ....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."

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• (352): View more from Florida

  this beer tastes like vomit already

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.

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• (650): View more from California

  You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I'm eating pizza in the bathtub

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