Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.

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  (843): His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked. http://tfl.nu/h1xn
  Replies (17) Good night (4059) Bad night (786)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank

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  (602): I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank http://tfl.nu/1dw8
  Replies (8) Good night (6014) Bad night (560)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed

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  (336): i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed http://tfl.nu/dxga
  Replies (20) Good night (5149) Bad night (1278)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.

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  (704): The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it. http://tfl.nu/e919
  Replies (20) Good night (8026) Bad night (1293)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.

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  (254): she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared. http://tfl.nu/cseo
  Replies (9) Good night (3216) Bad night (1126)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".

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  (903): She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch". http://tfl.nu/00r2
  Replies (18) Good night (5531) Bad night (1438)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.

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  (478): Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio. http://tfl.nu/i0fo
  Replies (6) Good night (2314) Bad night (821)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.

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  (617): Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are. http://tfl.nu/448e
  Replies (11) Good night (1757) Bad night (754)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.

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  (508): I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember. http://tfl.nu/6qay
  Replies (22) Good night (1621) Bad night (966)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him

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  (216): there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him http://tfl.nu/zgop
  Replies (1) Good night (1331) Bad night (854)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.

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  (203): I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday. http://tfl.nu/b5pa
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (1673)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.

  (607): View more from New York

  I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero

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  (719): And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot. (607): I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero http://tfl.nu/sawz
  Replies (2) Good night (1850) Bad night (500)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."

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  (773): I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye." http://tfl.nu/jcze
  Replies (2) Good night (790) Bad night (666)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"

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  (910): I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!" http://tfl.nu/ji9a
  Replies (2) Good night (1001) Bad night (398)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.

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  (305): I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle. http://tfl.nu/tqe0
  Replies (6) Good night (790) Bad night (377)

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