Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Knowing your life, probably not.

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  (832): I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right? (303): Knowing your life, probably not. http://tfl.nu/p5sh
  Replies (4) Good night (928) Bad night (3174)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side

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  (603): yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side http://tfl.nu/thqa
  Replies (77) Good night (1155) Bad night (3198)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.

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  (651): The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off. http://tfl.nu/d6pj
  Replies (188) Good night (800) Bad night (4760)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.

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  (219): so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night. http://tfl.nu/edgl
  Replies (15) Good night (4323) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh

  (513): View more from Ohio

  is this your pickup line?

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  (304): my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh (513): is this your pickup line? http://tfl.nu/r4ba
  Replies (20) Good night (946) Bad night (5413)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.

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  (613): Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing. http://tfl.nu/hxx0
  Replies (37) Good night (4456) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.

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  (732): It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that. http://tfl.nu/ljyh
  Replies (12) Good night (950) Bad night (4253)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no pressure.

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  (856): he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him. (215): no pressure. http://tfl.nu/wyu7
  Replies (12) Good night (4477) Bad night (953)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'

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  (902): Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp' http://tfl.nu/0a7v
  Replies (8) Good night (1305) Bad night (3907)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.

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  (847): At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know. http://tfl.nu/0yrr
  Replies (3) Good night (2245) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.

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  (916): I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me. http://tfl.nu/xyna
  Replies (7) Good night (3744) Bad night (706)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'

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  (678): You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow' http://tfl.nu/uw7w
  Replies (12) Good night (3242) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down

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  (775): I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down http://tfl.nu/2bqj
  Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (507)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.

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  (716): Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested. http://tfl.nu/7riw
  Replies (2) Good night (785) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.

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  (720): FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck. http://tfl.nu/h6sm
  Replies (0) Good night (465) Bad night (278)

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